ok, girl, this is getting a little old

seriously. i mean, honestly. who is letting this child walk around with her face painted like this? i mean, ha ha, taylor, it was cute at first, yeah yeah you are all goth like and punk rock, very funny. now you are just scaring me. this needs to stop.

i will admit to going through my own "goth" phase when i was about your age, and i wore gray lipstick and didn't wear anything that didn't have holes in it and i acted all tormented and all that crap, but i wasn't fooling anyone. and looking back at the pictures of me in that phase now...god, all i can think is WHAT WAS I THINKING??? why did i feel the need to be so miserable? i read somewhere that taylor blames her parents for making her work from such a young age, and that's why she's so unhappy and dark, but i do not buy that for one second. you want to rebel against mommy and daddy? FINE. just find a way to do it that doesn't make you look like roadkill. this is so above and beyond awful that i can't even bring myself to continue posting photos of her as examples of what not to do. just don't do this. ever. and until taylor goes back to being her cute pretty self, this is the last time i will even mention her name. you hear that, taylor momsen? you are DEAD TO ME!

Product review: E.L.F. Complexion Perfection

I just posted about this powder compact that I ordered from E.L.F. It finally arrived in the mail yesterday (and I have to say, I feel like I waited forever for it to get here!) and of course, I immediately busted into my bag of goodies to try them out. I actually ordered about 7 products (2 shadows, an eyebrow groomer, bronzer, the complexion perfection, a lipgloss and a concealer stick - all for only $17 inlcuding shipping!), but I want to focus this post on the complexion perfection. If you are like me, your skin is not perfect. I get really shiny during the day, not to mention that my skin tone is uneven and often gets a little blotchy - especially in warmer weather. The colors in this compact seem a little crazy at first and I read some reviews of this product where users complained that it made their complexion look washed out or greenish...but to all of that i saw PISHAW! I am in love with this powder! The trick is to apply it lightly, focus on areas where your skin may be a bit redder by going heavier on the green powder over that area, and blend like hell. Blending is super important in making your foundations, powders, concealers, etc., look NATURAL. Ever seen a girl who looked like she was wearing a mask because there was an obvious line where her makeup ended and her bare skin began? Right around the jawline? No offense, teens of America, but girls who are just starting to wear makeup for the first time are INFAMOUS for doing this. So, sure, this powder could make your face look gray, if you apply too much and don't blend it properly. But my hope is that you would never, ever do that. ;)

So. Do not be afraid of the blue, pink, yellow and green compact, it is your friend. Don't overdo it and you'll love it just as much as I do.

since no one is perfect...

i just ordered this great combination powder from e.l.f. (that's eyes lips face for those of you not in the know - the most affordable makeup money can buy) and can't wait to try it out. it's summer time and that means that while i'm stoked to be parading around in sundresses and sandals, the heat and humidty are wreaking havoc on my skin. thankfully, there's an app for that. ok, maybe not an app, but there is no shortage of products out there designed to help you fake a perfect complexion. if you're like me, and tend to break out more in the summer months (because who doesn't love being covered in sweat for the majority of your waking hours??), a compact like this will work wonders, because it does a couple jobs at once.

it may seem odd to be putting yellow and green powder on your face, but if you remember from an earlier posting, those colors work to neutralize redness and blotchy skin, so your skin tone will look even. and, if you were a huge buffoon last weekend and forgot to reapply your sunscreen while you were out at the pool (i just KNOW that you put it on at least 15 minutes before you went outside and then you just got so distracted by that cute boy who kept trying to show off on the diving board that you went and forgot to reapply and now you are paying because your nose is peeling like an onion!!), this compact will help tone down some of the red that comes along with sunburn. next time, though, DO NOT BE SO FOOLISH. boys come and go. your skin is the only skin you'll ever have and it will be with you through many more seasons to come, which is more than i can say for teenage boys. trust me. I KNOW.

anyway, it also helps absorb some of the excess oil that is also one of the joys of summer. no one wants a face that shines like a disco ball. unless you are dressing up as a disco ball for halloween, in which case i would recommend GLITTER, not sweat, to achieve that look.

life is peachy

I'm noticing a trend for the spring/summer that I actually really like - peachy/orangey shades of lipstick/glosses. I love the way it looks on just about every skin tone, and you can tone it up or down depending on how sheer the color is. Hillary here has really nailed this look, and even accented her cheeks with a peach-toned blush, which really works on her. Milani makes a great shimmery gloss in an orangey shade called Stylish that you can pick up at a CVS or Walgreens, or if you're into ordering online (like I am), E.L.F. makes a great shade called Cool Coral that is really inexpensive (and who doesn't love that?).

The trick here is to be careful that you aren't going too overboard on orange or you could easily end up looking like an Oompa Loompa. Stick with something sheer and shimmery and keep the eye makeup light to complement the look. Now...orange you glad I told you about that? :)

bad gal lash...how do i love thee?

I've probably sung the praises of Bad Gal Lash by Benefit Cosmetics once or twice on this site, but I recently got a gift card to use at Amazon.com and since I usually can't afford Bad Gal (it's $19 a tube!!!), I indulged myself and got a tube of Bad Gal and I also picked up a Shu Uemura eyelash curler (also $19), lucky lucky me. Both of these products are on the higher end of what I'm willing to spend to not look like a gargoyle when I leave the house every day, but sometimes it's really worth the splurge. Bad Gal really is the BEST mascara I've ever found, and my $19 eyelash curler finds lashes that I didn't even know I had. So, even if you can't afford to go high-end all the time (and really, who the heck can??), consider picking up one or two crucial products (mascara, good foundation or cover up, or a really nice powder brush), because sometimes that $19 mascara REALLY DOES make all the difference in the world!

Taylor Momsen: Pick Up the Phone, Girl...We Need to Talk!

Taylor. Precious little Taylor. I need to have a word with you. That word is "NO." I think it's cute you wanted to dress like a raccoon for Halloween, but sweetie pie, that is about 6 months away and unless you are on your way to an audition to be the angel of death in some crazy new vampire movie, allow me to repeat myself: NO. NO. NO. And may I add: THIS IS NOT OK.

Remember how cute you were in the Grinch movie? With your sweet innocent little face and all?? ME NEITHER. Please, Taylor, please, I IMPLORE you, stop doing this to yourself. THIS DOES NOT LOOK SEXY. It's not attractive or pretty or going to lure any hot rich men in your direction. You look like a 38 year old chain smoking tramp who got beat up by her boyfriend for not remembering to buy his favorite cereal at the Stop-n-Shop. I do not care if you are a rock star, or some fashion forward celebrity that everyone fawns over. YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. I mean, thanks for sticking with the "heavy eyes/nude lips" rule, but...your eyes are SO HEAVY, you'd pretty much have to remove the lips off your face to balance that look out. And maybe even your nose, too.

You want my advice? Good. I'm giving it to you, anyway. Fire your makeup artist and quit trying to act like such a punk. You were Cindy Lou Who for the love of Pete!! And you are so much prettier than this mess that you are calling your face right now. You do know you are a teenager, right? You are therefore allowed to wear a little pink blush and Bonnie Bell lipsmackers, just like I did when I was your age. Of course, when I was your age, I wasn't on the cover of Teen Vogue, but that is still no reason for leaving the house looking this way. HEED MY WORDS!!!

Combating Shine

I don't know about you, but it's getting a lot warmer where I live. That means that first of all, I don't need as much foundation as I do in the fall and winter months (this applies to you, too!). It's been so warm lately that I've been able to get away with light cover-up/concealer and tinted moisturizer, which I love. But on the downside, with the warmer weather comes the dreaded perspiration, which I can tell you all about since I bike to and from work now that it's not 27 degrees outside anymore. By the time I get to work, my face is as shiny as a disco ball. And, since I don't want to clog up my pores by putting powder on top of all of that, I've been using oil blotting sheets a lot lately. You can find them at any drugstore (I just use the CVS brand and they work just fine), but if you want to go high end, most makeup counters sell their own brand, like Clinique and Shiseido. Some of them even promise "pore minimizing" effects, but seriously, unless that is a huge concern for you, it's probably not worth the money. The sheets are pretty small, but just blot one on your nose, forehead and cheeks to absorb some of those oils and give you a more matte look. Trust me, putting powder on top of makeup and sweat is a recipe for bad skin. I know this. I am old.